Modification of values

Moral understanding is not the only thing that changes as people mature. People’s values tend to change over time as well. Values that suited you as a child change as you become a young adult, form relationships and make your way in the world. What makes sense to you as a single person no longer makes sense when you are married, or have children. What makes sense to you as a parent no longer makes sense to you when you retire. Many themes remain the same across the years, to be sure, but not all of them do.

Humanist psychologists propose that people have an innate sense of values and personal preferences that tends to get buried under layers of social demands and expectations (social morals). Part of the human journey involves the gradual rediscovery of these innate and highly personal desires, which get unconsciously hidden away when they are seen to conflict with society’s demands. You may have a desire to do artwork, but you become a banker instead simply because this pleases your perfectionist and worried parents. You may have homosexual inclinations, but get married (to an opposite sex spouse) and have children, simply because to do otherwise in your family and community would be unheard of and shameful.