by Improving Your Communication Skills
Business communications require a good understanding of your audience. Our Communications Planning article outlines a simple process that you can follow to assess your audience, to choose an appropriate channel to reach them, and to monitor the effectiveness of your message.
If your goal is to gain information, be sure to ask the right questions and to stay clear and concise our article on The 7 Cs of Communication offers a useful checklist of factors to consider.
Finding common ground with your audience will help you to establish trust and rapport. But be aware of cultural or personal differences, and show that you respect other people’s points of view.
When you convey information, use your powers of negotiation and persuasion to present your case, rather than stating your opinion as fact, and be prepared to compromise. You can use rhetoric to construct a persuasive argument, but it’s important to remain credible and authentic.
And crucially, when you’ve delivered your message, listen carefully to the response. Active Listening techniques help you to pay close attention, to show the speaker that you are taking their words on board, and to respond constructively. Mindful Listening can help you to focus on what’s being said, and to “tune out” distractions.
“Looking” also plays a part in “listening.” We pick up cues from a person’s body language. They tell us whether he or she is confident, or bored, or thinking about something else and even if he’s lying.
Becoming more aware of posture, eye contact, hand gestures, and tone of voice helps us to “read” other people more effectively and to adapt our communication style accordingly. And if we recognize our own body language, we can project a feeling that we may not actually be experiencing to appear confident in job interviews, for example.
Whether you want to make a good first impression, to attend a speed networking event, to meet a new boss for the first time, or to just get along better with your colleagues, good interpersonal communication skills will help you to make every second count.
Learning to Manage Differences
You’ll likely encounter conflict, or at least differences that seem hard to reconcile, at some point in your working life. You may, for example, find yourself dealing with rude or difficult people, or those who feel they need to “cut you down to size” (known as “tall poppy syndrome.”) In such situations, the ability to remain calm but assertive is a key interpersonal skill.
Unresolved conflict can be damaging and disruptive, and often affects morale and productivity. It can result in personal animosity, making people feel as if they have to “take sides,” disengage from the team, or even leave the organization.
On the other hand, conflict can bring underlying issues to the surface, where you can examine, acknowledge and deal with them. This can help to prevent similar problems from recurring and to enhance mutual understanding.
That’s why the ability to deal with conflict effectively is an interpersonal skill that’s highly valued by employers.
So let’s look at three approaches to conflict resolution:
The Interest-Based Relational (IBR) Approach advocates separating the problem from the people involved. You examine the issue objectively, simply setting out the facts to discuss without damaging your relationships. This requires courtesy, listening skills, understanding, and a willingness to compromise.
Perceptual Positions is an exercise that helps you to see other people’s points of view. You assign, say, chairs in your office to the opposing points of view, plus one for an objective observer. Then you sit in each chair in turn and picture the situation from the three different perspectives.
And Bell and Hart’s Eight Causes of Conflict can help you to identify the source of, and therefore a solution to, an issue. The causes range from insufficient resourcing and confused roles to incompatible values and unpredictable policies, and our article gives you pointers on how to manage each one.
Learning to Manage Agreement
We’ve seen how you can use your interpersonal skills to manage conflict. But how do you create an agreeable and harmonious working environment?
The first step is to use your interpersonal skills to establish trust. Trust enables you to be more effective, to take worthwhile risks, and to feel secure. You can discover useful strategies for working with your co-workers, clients and suppliers in our article, Building Trust.
The next step is to work towards a situation where team members understand one another. They can collaborate to improve the team’s overall performance, if you can help them to reveal more about themselves, safely. The Johari Window is a useful tool to help you to Manage Mutual Acceptance.
Understanding individuals’ interpersonal strengths helps you to match them with suitable tasks or projects. This can increase their motivation, engagement and productivity. Read our article, Four Dimensions of Relational Work, to find out how to assign tasks based on people’s attributes.
Another key aspect of managing agreement relates to feedback. People will likely view poorly expressed feedback as destructive criticism. Deliver it well, however, and you can address difficult issues before they worsen.
Maintaining Your Personal Integrity
Your integrity, your ability to stand up for what you believe in is central to your interpersonal skills. Integrity enables you to measure your choices and decisions when dealing with others against the benchmark of your personal values. Your reputation and personal brand rest on it.
This can keep you on the right track on a daily basis simply interacting with others in a friendly, polite way, for example, can make a huge difference to the people around you. It can also guide you through challenging but potentially rewarding situations, such as working with rivals. It is also important if you’re in a position of authority.
